zzzzzLess Nights

zzzzzless nights due to :

1) really can't get back to zzzzz when there's too much in the head.
2) got what I've been waiting for......that paper I'd been waiting for hasn't got what I assumed would be there. No..it's not there and that word meant so much of a different. It gets me worried whether I''ll be able to get through this whole thing.

If things doesn't work my way.......the way I wanted it to work, I don't know if I would have another option. Put a bullet in my head..pls.

I think I'm on the verge of a nervous breakdown........total breakdown. I can't withstand this pressure anymore. I can't even cry. I'll have to save those energy to poke a sharp metal into my head.

New Semester = New Stress

Just got over 3 weeks of hellish working nightmare and now the start of a new academic semester ........ as hellish !

4 days academic week + 5 days working week = 9 days stress per week. What an equation !

1 1/2 academic years just passed & a new one just started. My class was grouped with another similar group into 1 class (PO2 & PO3).

Felt very spaceless and time wasted. Academically demanding yet so little time. 1 week of July to November minus 2 weeks term break. This semester is breakneck study.

Only 1 comforting thought in this nightmarish weeks ahead is that it's going to be over soon.....very soon !

Definition of School Holiday

My last winter school holiday 2007. I termed it in my MSN "School Holiday = Working Like A Dog !".

I did in fact worked my ass off !!!! The 3 weeks winter holiday was a real nightmare for me.

Sleeping & waking up at breakneck speed, 2 jobs, long travel distance, fatigue, cold ...wow you name it....the stress etc.

3 weeks ! God am I glad it's over ?

I'll remember this 3 weeks. Who can forget this struggle ?

New skill

Artisan ? It's Challah - Jewish Bread.

Tired Day

I need to confront Luke. Dispute over my pay has been going on for a couple of weeks and remain unresolved.

Finish work this morning @ 7am.
Sent G. to school @9am.

Catch public transport @ 930am to Rowville to confront him & gave him an ultimatum to solve the matter. He turned aggressive (not in terms of an act) and it was a crisis for me. Leaves me no choice. I have to stand up for myself. I'm not tolerating this anymore. I have to go & find other means to resolve this matter with some seniors.

He became "Dog". Called me to want to solve the matter. I'm really uneasy but still all I want is to resolve the matter once & for all & get my $$$.

Relay matter to Stuart. Will meet him soon.

Back @ 130pm. Sleepy & tired. But still can't go to bed yet. Have to wait for G.

Stress Oh Stress

In a distant land where I am now from my motherland.

From neck bone down to spine, very uneasy. Sleepless nights. 2am ? 3am ? Just have this big piece of burden to keep me awake. "My Work". For what ? For a better life ...... for them. For me ?? I also don't know what's the future lies for me !

Study, work, family, stress, winter ............ I'm just sick of all this.Will I be able to cope ? For how long can I stand ?

I AM REALLY TIRED !!!!